Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Let's paint friendship bongs
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
