We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
