That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
