called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
