I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
