Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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