He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
