I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
