i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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