I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
