I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Even the bartender felt bad for me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
