Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This house was built for laser tag.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
