I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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