their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
