"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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