Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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