You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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