Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
