That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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