if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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