Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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