apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
