I've blown a few things in my day
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
