I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
