I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
PANTIES FOUND
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