we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize