So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
