Sober January is a disaster.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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