Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
