I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
