i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You pole danced in your parka.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
