I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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