In the future we'll all be gay
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
