I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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