yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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