On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
