Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
