I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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