Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
