I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
