So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
