It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
