3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
