Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
