Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
