Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
