I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
