I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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