Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
