Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
