I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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