even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
